My Love Story: "How a pastor's fake vision ruined my choice in marriage," Anonymous
My name is Anonymous (laughs). Please, I want to be anonymous because I know people will come for me. I just want to get it out so that someone out there will learn from my story.
So, it all started many years ago. You know, we were one happy family. My father was a calm guy but my mother sometimes took advantage of that and did things my father ordinarily wouldn't approve. Because we were all grown up, the least of us was maybe 18 years, she suddenly disliked doing the family rituals like cooking for everyone and would say, "Next year bayi, oni kaluku maa ma je un lototo ni. I'm tired. Mi o le gbe omo 22, 25 si le kin tu ma da mu ki ri. O to ge. Mo fe sinmi." We really didn't think much of those things, we didn't even know that those words were seeds.
Like play like play, my younger sister suddenly became pregnant. Everybody in the family was shocked. My father occupied one important office in our church then and we all knew shame was coming to hug us. To hide that from the world, they sent her to our hometown. And that's how she started taking care of herself alone. By then, I was 27 oh and no serious suitor. Then I started going to different prayer places before I met one Pastor Akobi who hosted one weekly programme like that. You know, desperation is a bastard honestly. It has a way of shutting out your doubts. So one day, he said one man was coming to me oh and I should not say no. He made it look like it was divine. I didn't know he had an arrangement with someone already.
True true, few days later, the man came. He was tall, dark, not bad looking you know, presentable. He sounded educated and we started getting along. Like play like play, six months after, I told my parents I was ready for marriage. I was 29, all my friends were married. But my father was worried in a way. I remember him asking me serious questions about this guy. There was a time he told me he went round asking questions about the guy and people didn't say good things about him but I ignored anyway. I believed God had spoken. So, I pressured my father and we got married.
The first few weeks was heaven on earth but one night, I noticed something strange. He said he was going to his mother's flat to sleep because it was a big house and we all lived together. I was not bothered until it continued night after night. One day, I protested and before I knew it, he got violent. After hitting me, he rushed into the kitchen to get a knife even though I was carrying his child. Up till now, I can't say this is how I escaped. He also burned my belongings. That night, I ran to my parents' house. But every other day, he would come around to beg for my return. After some time, I thought he had changed and before I knew it, I was pregnant again. Then it got worse. My mother became irritable so much that she wanted me to move out of the house to go get my own apartment. The situation was messy.
To cut it short, I got an apartment far away from home and started to train two children all alone. This was something I never prayed for. There were days I cried, there were times I wished things were different. I was just a primary school teacher. Anyways, life continued, then one day, I felt I had had enough and was determined to go back to him. By then, he had relocated with his mother to Ijebu. They still lived together but I didn't care. I sold all that I had bought to make a home. Then one night, I left Lagos with my children to go live with him. By now, they were 7 and 6 years old. The first few months in Ijebu was okay. I tried to get along with his mother until things went south again. This time around, he simply wanted me dead. Even when I passed out, my children said he didn't stop hitting me until neighbours rushed in to intervene.
Now, I see that his brain is being engineered. His skull is empty already. He is almost 60 and he still lives with his mother in a village. No job, no ambition, nothing. I have accepted my fate and have moved on. I now live in another village in the same Ijebu with my children. Looking back, I just wish things were different. It is painful but life goes on.
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