How Relationship Tips and Concoctions from the Internet Affect Real-Life Dating

By Olumide Labulo

In this digital age, many young people turn to the internet for guidance on nearly everything, including relationships. Well, I won't blame them because many social media, blogs, dating coaches, and even viral "relationship hacks" claim to offer the secrets to love, attraction, and long-term commitment. It is even more complicated now with the coming of AI: may I say it's just a matter of time before AI starts dictating how humans should live and behave.

While some advice can be insightful, much of it is misleading, unrealistic, or even harmful. So a while back, I met this girl I really liked. I sensed the feeling was mutual and felt there was no need to over-impress since we were on the same page. However, based on some of the shitty things I had read on the internet about not love bombing, not being in her face, making her miss you strategies and all what not, I rarely reached out and she went cold just like that. The internet is a powerful tool, yes! But guys, no be everything dey tailored to your own uniqueness or the person you're dealing with.

I really agree with the fact that the tips many of these relationship talkers give can open one up to diverse perspectives, emotional awareness, community support and self-worth (which can help set healthy boundaries). I also agree, even more largely, that the negativities of these tips far outweigh all of the aforementioned. 

The first of all is how much they restrict your thinking and condition your mind to behave in a particular way by having unrealistic expectations. These are often idealized or scripted versions of love that don't match real-life dynamics. Advice like “if they truly love you, they’ll always text first” or “play hard to get to maintain attraction” or "has to talk to me everyday" can create unrealistic standards and misunderstandings.

Another is that you unconsciously develop toxic and manipulative strategies. Many dating tips on the internet encourage game-playing, emotional manipulation, or controlling behaviors to "keep a partner interested." Techniques like negging (backhanded compliments), "shit test" or the "no-contact rule" for revenge can damage trust and communication in real relationships.

We can't also ignore the fact that many young people over-rely on dating tips on the internet. They doubt their own instintcs and second-guess themselves. They find it difficult to learn through personal experiences and communication. As such, they misinterpret some of the tips and concepts like "alpha males," "high-value women," or "relationship test", leading to rigid gender roles and unrealistic expectations about dating dynamics.

Have you ever noticed that the society usually tilts in a particular direction? Funny thing is they don't worry even if it doesn't conform with the truth or reality. That's why some people deliberately use the media to build misleading narratives, e.g Nedu. Social media is filled with picture-perfect couples and "relationship goals" posts that set unrealistic benchmarks for love. Many young people feel pressured to match these ideals. The irony is that the more they try, the more dissatisfied they are in their own relationships.

The internet offers both helpful and harmful relationship advice, and its impact depends on how well you interpret and apply it. The key is to approach online relationship advice with critical thinking, relying on personal experiences, genuine communication, and professional guidance when needed. In the end, real-life relationships require more than just internet formulas—they thrive on authenticity, effort, and mutual understanding.

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