The Other Side of Love: 4 Lessons from Angela Okorie's Break Up
By Olumide Labulo
But few people really know
What it really means to love somebody...
Excerpt from Kirk Franklin's lyrics, "Love"
Few hours ago, one of Nollywood's finest, Angela Okorie, announced her break up with her boyfriend on the grounds of infidelity and vowed never to show off any man again until she's married (infidelity versus infidelity, lol.). Putting her words in context, she simply yearns for marriage, period. Sarcastically, it was this same Angela who walked out on her loving, supportive ex-husband (Michael Chukwudi or Chukwuma Orizu, I don't know which one now; she had been married twice.) because she fell out of love with him and his family pressured her to quit acting too. Hmmm...I am not sure I am able to understand why love has to be unnecessarily complicated. However, does this 49 year-old and the kind of people she attracts understand what marriage or genuine love truly is?
Love is beautiful. Sometimes, it just grows from nothing. Many other times, it begins with fluttering hearts, late-night calls, stolen glances, and a sense of euphoria that makes the world feel like a better place. It's soft, intoxicating, and deeply fulfilling. This is exactly what many people want to feel to be convinced they are in love. The turn here is that lust has the same "symptoms" except that it vanishes after a short time.
Everything in life comes with a price, including love. It's a side we often don't talk about even when we're living it. Romantic love is beautiful, yes, but first of all, we need to understand that it’s not always easy. The very things that make it magical—vulnerability, connection, intimacy—also open us up to pain. When the texts slow down, the silence grows longer, or misunderstandings creep in, love can feel like a bruise rather than a balm. It's not always betrayal or heartbreak that stings. Sometimes, it's the slow drift. The realization that two people who once fit perfectly now feel like strangers sitting across a table, talking about everything except the one thing that matters—us.
Secondly, we need to understand that every romantic journey teaches us something. Sometimes it’s about the kind of partner we want—or don’t want. Other times, it's about the parts of ourselves we didn’t know needed healing. The other side of love is often a mirror. It reflects our insecurities, our fears, our unmet needs, and sometimes, our unhealthy patterns. Lots of rejection, break ups, for example, can feel like the end of the world—but they also mark the beginning of self-discovery. In the rubble of “us,” many find the strength to rebuild “me.”
Thirdly, one of love’s silent killers is unmet expectations. A year ago, I failed a girl's shit-test multiple times and because I fell short of her expectations, she wouldn't date me. It's this same mentality many enter relationships with. In their mental space, they have dreams, assumptions, unspoken desires and rules. When their partners don’t meet those expectations, resentment can quietly grow. They begin to wonder, “Why can't they (he or she) love me the way I need?” Truth be told, love on the surface may look like flowers, date nights, and good morning texts. But its true test lies in the ordinary—how we handle conflict, how we speak when we’re angry, how we choose each other even on the hard days.
Fourthly, there is nothing like irreconcilable differences between two people that are INTENTIONAL about being together. In this case, sometimes, the bravest act of affection could be letting go of a hurt. Not because we’ve stopped loving someone, but because we’ve started loving ourselves more. Letting go doesn’t always mean failure—it can mean choosing peace over chaos, healing over habit, and growth over comfort. That is not to say the same applies to players, bedmates and those who take advantage of your love for them.
Finally, romantic love is powerful, but it isn’t always forever. It can leave us breathless in both joy and grief. Matter-of-factly, on the other side of love is resilience. The kind that says, “I gave my all. I learned. I’m still whole." It reminds us that real love is a journey, not a fairytale. It’s a choice, a lesson, and sometimes, a goodbye. But here's the beauty: from every broken piece, something stronger can be born—self-love, clarity, and a deeper understanding of what we truly deserve.
I'll leave you with a poem by Anonymous. I hope you enjoy it.
The Other Side
I loved you in the light,
Where laughter danced on skin,
Where hands met without question,
And hearts let each other in.
But love is more than morning sun,
It’s storms we didn’t plan,
It’s words we didn’t speak aloud,
And things we couldn’t stand.
It’s silence after shouting,
It’s closeness grown apart,
It’s knowing when to hold on tight—
And when to guard your heart.
You were a chapter, never less,
But not the whole of me.
I found my strength in loving you—
And in setting myself free.
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