The Myth of Size in Sex

By Ayomipo Akorede

The society generally has a way of idealizing the tangibility or intangibility of everyday issues. Worse off, these idea-lizations are often mythical and world apart with realities. Maybe that explains why little Johnny runs after every elephant mosquito he sees around the house because he’s heard (that) they cause elephantiasis; why a guy would shy away from loving a minimally endowed woman (in both or either region) just because he would not be proud enough to show her off to everyone around him or thinks she wouldn’t give enough pleasure in bed.

English, an offline dictionary, defines myth, in relation to this discourse, as a comm only-held but false belief, a common misconception; a fictitious or imaginary person or thing; a popular conception about a real person or event which exaggerates or idealizes reality. The concept of myth can be ‘traced back to 4th century BC Greece, when the world of tradition (linked in one way or another to the orality, definitively gave way to the rationalistic-oriented writing culture, …to appear to the new reading audience as only odd and incomprehensible stories’ (Journal of Studies in Social Sciences, page 39, Volume 6, Number 1, 2014). Today, myth is such that it magnifies the ‘projection of our internal desires and conflicts into the outer world’ (The Concept of Myth by D. H Monro, Page 115, 1950).

During my undergraduate days, on a fateful day, I was involved in a hot discussion that was chiefly driven by two plus size ladies who insisted vehemently that the size of the penis mattered a lot in sexual intercourse. While one couldn’t really say why she held on to that assertion, the other was able to cite a personal experience she had with an ex who was rich but couldn’t dig her deep down.

First of all, who chooses to be born the way they are born, the way they look, where they are born and to the parents they are given? Who chooses to have a broken marriage, be poor, childless or die in their prime? Who chooses to fail, be disappointed or even live in Nigeria? Loool!!! If we all had the privilege of choices over the aforementioned, wouldn’t we make better choices? That being said, the belief of minimally endowed guys not capable of satisfying their women is widespread. Some women even believe it could make conception i m p o s s i b l e f o r t h e m . Hmmmmm...are you wondering like I am? Now, if sex was all about size, why then do these endowed men suffer weak erection and quick ejaculation? If sex was all about size, why do majority of the ladies out there cheat on their partners that are well endowed? Why do they complain of insatiability as in not reaching orgasm after all the deep thrusting? More so, if impregnating a woman (permit me) was hinged on size, then why are some women whose husbands are heavily endowed not getting pregnant? If sex was all about size, why do some women feel comfortable having sex with other women? Now, we see that all of these parameters, except for the nymphos that have been with all the guys in Nigeria and their hollows are like the depth of the ocean (a Christian brother once said to a sex therapist that the first time he entered his wife, he felt like he was swimming in a big river), show that sex is way beyond size.

Derek Llewellyn-Jones, a gynaecologist, in his book Everywoman says sexual intercourse is not a competitive indoor sport, nor a virtuoso performance to be boasted about later, but a physical and emotional expression of a warm relationship between two mutually attracted people, which may last permanently or may be temporal. According to Daniel J. DeNoon in his article titled "Is My Penis Too Small?", and other well-researched, reliable publications, we can confidently deduce that the only time a man can be accused of having a small penis is when it is micro. A micro penis is the resultant of a health condition that makes the penis look unusually small and invariably makes sex impossible. It’s so worse that it’s not longer than 3 inches at erection and the only remedy for such is surgery. So, a man whose SPL (Stretched Penis Length) is around 5 inches has a big enough size while something that is a little below falls on the average. However, only 0.6% (of men) have their SPL hit 6.8 inches and more according to Palmer’s statistics (2012). At this juncture, it is important to state that the true size of a penis, according to scientists, is known only when it is stretched hence, SPL.

Interestingly, the body composition and chemistry of women is awesomely unique such that specific parts of their bodies (that give sexual excitement), as stated by Anna in her "Here’s What Happens to the Female Brain During Sex" article, are connected to different brain regions activated to give orgasm during sex including the cortex which becomes hyper-sensitive to touches from mutual pleasuring they popularly call foreplay: kissing, caressing and all that. This pleasuring helps each partner explore the body of the other and spots that respond more to soft strokes so that none of them is left hanging or fatigued without reaching orgasm (sexual satisfaction). Further research has also shown that a higher percentage of women derive orgasm from soft touches on the clitoris while only a small percentage have vaginal orgasm which is achieved through the penetration of the penis or both. However, for women that fancy vaginal orgasm or both, their preferences may differ from person to person (depending on how deep or shallow their hollows are). Research says an average vaginal measures about 2.75 inches to 3 inches. Unlike the penis, during pleasuring or foreplay, the vaginal stretches inward to about 4.25 inches and 4.75 inches or more (for the length of the penis), gets lubricated in readiness for the adjustment of the width to the thickness of the penis it is about to welcome. Regardless of how long or short the vagina is, the area that is thought to be important for most women’s sexual response is the outer one-third (WebMD).

This simple research reveals why some women get hurt (like having bruises and abdominal issues) during sex and some don’t. Now, tell me if this doesn’t reiterate that a man who possesses an SPL of 6,7,8 or 9 inches with the mentality that it’s all about size may end up failing woefully afterall. You feel me? At this juncture, it is pertinent to know that the mind is a powerful tool and everything we all do starts from the mind-- it begins there, it ends there!

If sex isn’t first about bonding and mutual satisfaction, may I know what then it is about; competition? The inadequacies, so to say, of a man that is genuinely loved can be sincerely aided to perform even at the greatest altitudes. The same goes for ladies whose vaginal length are onthe average if and only if each can be sensitive enough, patient enough to know the body of the other and communicate enough on how sex can be better enjoyed by both parties. Therefore, it is explicitly mythical, maybe wrong for anyone to think that men whose SPL are around 5 inches cannot be better lovers in bed.